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Tips on Teens #006
“Give me Skinny or Give Me Death!”
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| April 2007 |
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How are your teen’s eating habits? How much exercise does
she get? Does your kid worry about what she looks like? Is it never good enough? Studies show that there are roughly
11 million children (mostly girls) at any given time with eating disorders (including anorexia and bulimia). Do you realize
that about 30% of children (7.5 million kids) ages 6 – 19 are overweight and an additional 15% (3.75 million kids) are obese? That means that almost half of kids from 6 – 19 years old are physically unfit. Hey, look over there. Isn’t that your
kid staring at the TV shoveling down a whole bag of potato chips? Yikes! |
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And have you watched TV, read a magazine or been to
the movies lately? There are media images that bombard us all with messages of what we should look like. Many health professionals
agree that these messages illustrate a distorted view from what is actually healthy. There are studies suggesting that media
by and large portrays underweight women as the ideal body type. Big surprise, huh? On average, a fashion model is 25%
thinner than the national average weight; a body type that only represents 5% of females in this country. I would hypothesize
that many of the actresses, singers and models whom we worship while we scarf down a pint of Rocky-Road ice cream are suffering from
their own struggles with eating disorders. However, they are the women who are idolized and offered to the public as icons of
beauty and sexuality. |
Boys get similar messages from entertainers and athletes who abuse human growth hormones and steroids
to appear bigger and stronger. |
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So what’s the problem? Why should we worry about our children’s view of their
own bodies? |
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We should worry because one of the toughest and most essential journeys for an adolescent is the quest
to find and develop a healthy self-esteem. We adults struggle with poor body image and how it effects our self-esteem all the
time; it is magnified many times over for a teenager. |
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Low self-esteem brought on by poor body image can lead to health
problems such as anorexia and bulimia. These disorders can lead to serious medical complications; for example dehydration and
malnourishment, dizziness, fainting, agitation, confusion, inability to concentrate, loss of memory, stunted growth and bone mass,
puberty delays, gastrointestinal problems, an irregular heartbeat and blood pressure problems. And if those symptoms weren’t
bad enough, the continuous vomiting involved in bulimia can cause severe inflammation and rip the lining of the esophagus, gastric
disturbances, blood pressure problems, and erosion of tooth enamel… that will give anyone a pretty smile! Adolescents struggling
with eating disorders are at greater risk for behavioral problems such as sexual promiscuity (remember February’s issue, “Are You
Worried about Your Teen Having Sex?”), crime (often shoplifting), and drug and alcohol abuse. |
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What about obesity? Is my
overweight kid in danger too?
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Obesity is another big problem in our country today effecting body image. Overweight children are
at risk of high cholesterol, high blood pressure, early heart disease, diabetes, bone problems and skin conditions such as excessive
acne, heat rash and fungal infections... that’s attractive. Overweight adolescents tend to grow up to be obese adults. Being overweight can lead to apathy towards participating in social and physical activity due to embarrassment, therefore social skills
may not develop appropriately, leading to isolation and depression and of course… low self-esteem. In other words, they feel
ugly on the outside and that leads teens to feel ugly on the inside. If you felt ugly not only in looks but also as a person,
why would you try to make friends or interact with the outside world that will just reject you? After all, who is going to acceptyou if you can’t even accept yourself?
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So what exactly do eating disorders do? |
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Eating disorders create a cycle of self-destruction. The more your kid falls prey to them, the more they destroy your kid’s feeling of self-worth. The less self-worth they have,
the more vulnerable they are to over-eating, under-eating or constantly throwing up. More importantly, about one out of every
four people with serious eating disorders who do not receive treatment dies. The number drops to approximately a 2-3% fatality
rate for those who obtain proper medical care. Only 60% of patients ever fully recover from their eating disorders and are able
to maintain a healthy body weight and eating habits. Around 20% make partial recoveries and are able to function, but still
they obsess on what they are eating and how much they exercise. The remaining 20% do not recover and behave in unhealthy ways
that lead them to multiple trips to the emergency room, thus constantly feeling helpless and hopeless towards eating.
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I can’t stop
the messages that promote a distorted body image from my kid’s friends at school, on TV, street billboards, music, movies, magazines,
etc. What am I supposed to do? |
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You can set an example for your teenager on how to live a life that encourages a healthy body
image. Here are some TIPS ON TEENS for how to help your child… and probably you too: |
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Don’t let you or your teen diet! I
know you think that sounds crazy but diets generally don’t work and they set us all up for failure. Instead follow a healthy
eating plan that provides you and your children with enough nutrition to promote healthy growth (less Funions and Oreos and more apples
and carrots?). That way, an occasional dessert is not so bad. Consult with a doctor or dietitian for the best way to do
this.
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Ensure that your family gets plenty of fun exercise. The focus should not be on how many calories burned or how big
someone’s butt is. The goal should be to try to have fun and enjoy the movement and strengthening of one’s body. Look
to fun activities such as sports, dancing, hiking, etc. Again, consult with a doctor or fitness expert on what is appropriate
for your family.
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Talk to your children about the difference between what society presents as physically acceptable versus what
is realistic and appropriate for the human body. Once again, I can’t stress this enough: get advice from you pediatrician
on what is normal for your teen.
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Educate your teens on the dangers of trying to alter one’s body in unhealthy ways such as binging,
excessive exercise and the abuse of drugs and medication to name a few. Your doctor is probably waiting for your call right
now!
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Avoid derogatory talk about the physical appearance of others. You may be demeaning some other fat slob, but your
teen may internalize that judgment and associate her own perceived fat as a cause to be rejected by both you and herself. Remember,
your teen may already think that she is ugly and fat, focusing on someone else’s weight can push her down a path of obsessing on her
own. Weight-ism is a form of prejudice and can cause identity crises similar to sexism, racism, etc.
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Share with your kid
why you love him so much for who he is as a person, not just what he looks like. Its fine to acknowledge the physical beauty
in your children, however don’t let that be the sole source of love and praise.
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Structure your family’s free time
to limit sedentary activities such as watching TV and video games in order to make room for more interactive pastimes.
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Be
wary of your own poor body image. If you have an unhealthy approach to nutrition, exercise and how you view your physicality,
you are setting a dangerous example for your teen. I know you feel that he never pays attention to you… but I assure you that
your habits have a direct effect on how your teen sees himself.
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Some additional resources that deal with the issues of obesity, eating
disorders and body image can be found at: |
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Body
image is not the only force behind obesity and other eating disorders. There are many factors such as family life, social relationships,
psychological and physical trauma, genetics, etc. However, those issues can be addressed in future TIPS ON TEENS articles. In the mean time, good luck with dealing with this subject within your family. It is a hurdle that all of America seems to face
on a daily basis. There is no need for you to tackle it alone. Don’t limit the support you get from just medical professionals
and therapists. Look to your friends and family to support you and you kids with these struggles. The more support you
get, the easier it will be to live a healthier and happier life. |
| If you would like more information, please feel free to call for a
complimentary phone consultation: |
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Kent Toussaint, MA
Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist
HELPis@KentToussaint.com
(818) 983-7728 |
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Remember
that adolescence is a temporary mental disorder and will pass within a few years. |
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Copyright 2006 - 2009, Kent Toussaint, MA MFT |
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