Kent Toussaint, MA MFT - Tips on Teens #019

Tips on Teens #019
A Parent’s Guide to Marijuana (Part I)

December 2008

Do you think your teenager gets high? Would you be able to tell if your teen was regularly smoking weed? Answering these questions can be a very sobering experience for parents.

What? Not my kid. She doesn’t know anything about drugs. She would never-ever try it… would she?

Well that depends on the kid. But don’t be fooled into thinking that just because your teen appears to be a good-kid that she doesn’t know more about pot than you think.

Like it or not, drugs and alcohol are a part of American culture, especially in the world of adolescents. The numbers seem to vary depending on which study you read; but statistically most teenagers will smoke marijuana at least once before leaving high school. Roughly 20 – 25% of teenagers smoke habitually. Consequently, whether your kid blazes or not, she has friends who do and she knows how to get it if she wants.

Well if my kid knows so much about marijuana, that’s good. Isn’t it? He’ll know how bad it is and won’t start using… right?

That also depends on the kid and what information he has. Like all humans, adolescents are quite adept at taking in the information that pleases them, but ignoring anything that might get in the way of their overly idealistic opinions about the wonders of getting baked. Often times, teenagers feel that they are very knowledgeable about the benefits or dangers of marijuana because they learn about it from their friends/dealers. Obviously, the (mis)information from these sources can be severely skewed.

How do I find out what my kid really knows and what she thinks she knows?

You’re going to have to have several very open and non-judgmental conversations with her if you’re ever going to come close to influencing her drug use. Hopefully, these discussions will occur over a period of time and long before you begin to fear that substance use is a problem.

Frequently these will be short discussions with one or both of you scared to say the wrong thing. However, since you are the parent, the responsibility inevitably falls on your shoulders to demonstrate compassion and understanding instead of panicky anger. Before these dialogues take place, make sure that you’ve studied up on all your marijuana homework and are prepared to share dispassionate, factual information with respect and patience.

There are countless sources of data about the effects of smoking chronic. If you’re overwhelmed on where to go, start with these websites:

Why do kids smoke weed anyway?

The same reason adults do. It feels good. On a deeper level, the factors for why they need to smoke a bowl in order to feel good are often unbearable. Difficult peer relationships, conflicts at home and feelings of inadequacy are just a few of the infinitely possible intolerable thoughts and feelings that many teens face every day. Marijuana generally helps to reduce (or blind one from acknowledging) symptoms of anxiety and depression in the moment caused by those thoughts and feelings.

So, if your teenager has figured out a rather effective way to not deal with his feelings and he thinks he’s really cool and mature in the process… why would he stop?

Unfortunately, the price is pretty steep for this type of avoidance. Habitually smokingbud undermines his ability to deal with those feelings. If left unchecked, he’ll eventually grow into an adult who never learned how to emotionally deal with normal teen angst and will be gravely disadvantaged when faced with even more complex and difficult situations that life inevitably brings.

The more he smokes, the more his tolerance for the chemical, THC (the main intoxicant in marijuana) increases. Hence, more and more herb is needed to drown out his overwhelming sadness, fear, anxiety and anger.

That sounds like addiction. I thought that pot wasn’t addictive?

That’s a popular myth. Interestingly enough, the people who really cling to that belief are generally… you guessed it, pot-heads. People can definitely build a dependence on weed, especially if they are genetically predisposed to addiction. It may not be as life threatening as a heroin addiction, but hitting the bong day after day can be dangerous unto itself.

Among other hazards, routine marijuana use will lead to the stunting of emotional growth. This is especially dangerous for teenagers because there is so much brain development going on during adolescence that will be compromised.

Addiction to marijuana is less of a physical dependence than drugs like cocaine, crystal meth and heroine. However, the emotional addiction can be just as powerful for some. When people who rely on smokin’ out to escape their insecurities stop using, there can be a tremendous emotional withdrawal that generally doesn’t go away without long term therapy or a strong sobriety program.

This is a lot to deal with myself. Now I think I need a hit! What can I do to help my kid stay off drugs?

For that, you’ll have to check out next month’s Tips on Teens #020 – “A Parent’s Guide to Marijuana (Part II). I know, I know. Cliff-hangers can be very suspenseful. Yet again, just think how excited you’ll be to read that next article! If however you feel that your family is in a crisis situation with marijuana, please don’t wait. Contact a trusted medical or mental health professional as soon as possible.

If you would like more information, please feel free to call for a complimentary phone consultation:

Kent Toussaint, MA

Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

HELPis@KentToussaint.com

(818) 983-7728

Remember that adolescence is a temporary mental disorder and will pass within a few years.

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